Plot-Relevant Nudity: 10/10
I think there is a genre a movie that calls out to me more than any other genre. A simple concept that arouses my interest and makes me excited at the prospect of seeing a movie in that genre. A special category that lets me know I’m going to have my hands full finding continuity errors and implausible scenarios. That beloved type of movie is the time travel movie, and “Timecrimes” fits into it nicely.
It starts out simple enough, a man sitting in his front lawn looking into the bushes with binoculars. Suddenly, a beautiful girl materializes through his viewers and begins to strip…for seemingly no reason whatsoever. Treated to a free peep show, he does what any red-blooded man who peeps with binoculars would do…goes into the bushes to find her. And find her he does, although she appears unconscious(and totally naked). Before he can investigate further, a bandaged maniac stabs him with a pair of scissors and chases him off into a mysterious lab about a minute from his house, where he seeks help via walkie-talkie. Still under the belief that he is being pursued, he follows the strange voice on the radio to a shed where he is promised protection, as long as he gets into a strange pit filled with ooze. A lid covers the pit, and BAM!…he wakes up to an unpleasant surprise. He has become the first man to travel back in time….a couple of hours.
At this point the movie’s plot becomes very predictable, turning into one of those “I have to make sure everything happens the same way” deals. He quickly discovers that he is the bandaged man, and tries to recreate all the details he remembers that draw him into the woods in the first place. He forces a girl into the woods and tells her to strip, and when she runs he accidentally knocks her unconscious(it really just gets worse and worse for this girl). He sets her against a rock and waits for his former self to stumble along so he can stab the unsuspecting peeping tom, and force him on the same unbelievable journey he is on now, thus creating a neat time loop that he can walk away from.
Now all he has to do is figure out what to do about the girl he may have killed and he’s home free! Too bad she’s not where he left her! Maybe she ran to the house that’s seriously a minute walking distance away….his house. He chases her up and up until she finally heads to the roof, where a few misplaced footsteps and an unlucky pull of the leg lead her to do a swan dive into the garden. But wait, that’s not the girl….its his wife! Uh-oh, time to time travel again, and basically redo the first act of the movie in the second act. I’m sure it will work out better for him this time.
These films always show you everything in the first 15 minutes, and then spend an hour showing you the same things from every possible angle until you finally put the picture together. This picture is pretty easy to piece together, though, and leaves you with a sense that if you interfere enough, everything will work out fine.
A special thanks to Melissa for the suggestion, I always am down for anything when the words “time travel” are included. Keep those suggestion coming, I’m hungry for more!