Ridiculous Outfits: 9/10
Funky Soundtrack: 8/10
Prince Being Prince: 10/10
When famous musicians and rock stars decide to grace the silver screen to stretch out their acting wings, one of two things usually happens: The first is that they will pick a character that is the exact opposite of everything they represent to show the world they can act. The second is they pretty much play themselves. Prince certainly chose that path when he made “Under The Cherry Moon”, a black & white drama that tells the story of a man who never expected to fall in love…
That man is Prince, and he is really flexing his acting muscle(among others muscles) when he plays Christopher, a piano playing gigolo who is irresistible to the ladies. Through a series of poems and crazy wardrobes, we see that Christopher is an untamed spirit, and he survives with his roommate, Tricky, on the “donations” of wealthy women who just want him to play with their instruments. Life is A-ok until they receive word of an heiress who is having a birthday party, and ChristoPrince can think of fifty million reasons why he wants to go. Mary turns out to be a bit of a wildcat, however, and quickly ID’s His Royal Badness as nothing but a hustler and kicks him out. Too bad he worked his magic on her, and she spends the rest of the movie getting more hopelessly caught in his sticky web.
Enter Problem: Christopher actually starts to like her, much to the disappointment of his partner who, despite his mad skills and various opportunities, has been unable to woo the fair lady. Prince may have violated the sacred “Bros Before Hoes” pact, but his main problem would seem to be the girl’s father, who is a little pissed at Prince already for dipping his glittery pen in the man’s family ink(namely his wife’s). Things come to a head when Tricky gets trashed and reveals that Christopher is, of all the crazy things, a gigolo. Acting as if she hadn’t known this the whole time, our lovely Mary scurrys off to be flown to New York, leaving Prince to know what it sounds like when the drunks cry. But don’t count him out yet!
Riding hard and fast…Prince makes a daring airport kidnapping and tells Mary that he’s fallen in love, and he just wants her extra time and her :*:*:*:*:* kiss. They make a run for it, but Mary’s father has every person with a gun in a fifty mile radius trained in on the fleeing couple, desperate for a killing shot! Despite Prince’s size, he is still a large enough target to hit and takes one for the team, and the dreams of love the couple had die with him. Mary then finally tells her Dad to step off, and he gets the message, though it’s too late now. But wait….whats that as the credits start? Does Prince have a band in heaven? And is he laying down some funky beat to let us know that it’s all good? Totally.
I’ll give Prince credit, he can run in heels better than anybody I’ve ever seen, and with the power of a boombox he is able to make even the tightest of asses get down and boogy. Did he, though, really need to make a movie that shouted “I get whatever woman I want”? No. Can I hold it against him? Nope.
This one goes out to my friend Giorgio, whose love of Prince is both inspiring and creepy. If you have any suggestions for me, let me hear them!