The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra

Doing Science: 8/10

Skeleton vs. Mutant: 9/10

Bad Movie Effects?: 10/10

I wanted people to suggest bad movies for me to watch because I knew that there would be great ones out there that I may never pick up.  I hoped that with every suggestion I would broaden my horizons and experience many different genres of film.  If there was actually a genre for Bad Movies, then “The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra” would be a welcome and willing addition to it…it tries and succeeds at being horrible and hilarious.

Dr. Paul Armstrong is a scientist, and he does science.  His wife, Betty, knows it’s hard to be married to a scientist, always doing science, but she is as supportive and helpful as she can be.  Paul and Betty are staying in a cabin in the woods until Paul can find a meteorite that he believes is made of atmospherium, the rarest element on Earth.  He is going to do science with it.

MEANWHILE…….

Kro-Bar and Lattis are aliens from the planet Marva, who have crash landed on this strange planet called Earth.  They look exactly like humans except for some shiny jumpsuits, and are horrified to discover that they are out of fuel.  They need to find some atmospherium, and they need to find it now!  ……Also, their pet mutant escaped…….

MEANWHILE…….

Dr. Roger Fleming has just discovered the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, and plans on using it to conquer the world!  There is just one problem…the Skeleton must get its power back by getting its bony hands on some atmospherium.  It commands Roger to go forth and get some, not caring about the details, and then goes to sleep(I sleep now!!).  Roger sets out to find the rare element, only to discover that Dr. Paul and Betty have beat him to it…

Everybody meets up at the cabin, and Dr. Fleming uses the aliens’ transmorpher ray(are you guys still with me?) to change four woodland critters into one woman, Animala.  Now that there are 3 boys and 3 girls, we can have a dinner party so everyone can get to know each other, and figure out how to get their hands on that atmospherium!  The two aliens, new to Earth and its strange customs, quickly prove ill-suited to blend in, while Dr. Fleming spends his time trying to house-train his new pet…girlfriend…thing.  It’s a poor host that makes their guests feel unwelcome, though, so the Armstrong’s make it through dinner and are ready to call it a night!

Just walking around, looking for some radiation...what's for dinner, hun?

Animala, using her animal magic and dance-trance techniques, tricks Paul into handing over the atmosperium(getting sick of typing that word), and the Skeleton is finally able to walk the Earth once more!  With the help of 2 actors, 3-4 puppeteers, select camera positioning, and an intense voice-over, they are able to magically bring this lifeless Skeleton to a lifeless standing position, where it can use its mental powers to do whatever it wants.

First order of business:  Make the aliens dance!…………?  OK…..

Second order of business:  Marry the alien woman!……..wait, what?

Third order of business:  Conquer the World!!!!!!…..There you go!

Remember that mutant I mentioned a little while back?  Well, he crashes the party, and apparently is ready to unleash some skeletal whoop-ass on our vintage villain, taking him on head-to-mutant-head.  The Skeleton’s psychic powers work for naught on the mutant, however, because mutants are stupid brutes!  After a brief struggle, the Skeleton loses his footing and is thrown of a cliff for his troubles, shattering into 200 some-odd pieces.  The aliens agree to split the atmospherium(…ugh) with Armstrong so he can continue his science for the good of mankind, and the world is once more safe from The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra.

This was so much fun to watch, I can’t even describe it.  The actors are taking their parts just serious enough to make me believe that they wanted to make a good movie, but are still bad enough that they add to the movie’s overall theme of “horrible sci-fi throwback from the 50’s”.  The effects are the epitome of cheese, and the script is such that it was either written by a genius or a dullard, whichever knowing exactly how a bad script is supposed to be.  If you like the little things, you’ll love this.

Thanks to Brandon for this one, it was better than I thought it would be by quite a bit!  Hope you all send me your suggestions so I can get more surprises!

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