Scaring the Locals: 9/10
Bad Aim: 9/10
Have you ever seen the episode of Futurama where they go back in time, and Fry accidentally becomes his own grandfather? Have you ever wondered where they got the idea from? Well, someone must have searched and found this gem, because that is exactly what I took away from “Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann”. Oh time paradoxes(paradoxi? paradeus?), how I love thee.
Lyle Swann is the best dirt bike racer around. He is so good, that he gets lost and ends up running into a secret government test site where they are sending a monkey back in time 100 years. Accidentally becoming the first human time traveller, Lyle still believes that he is in the good old modern USA, and drives off into the desert in search of the finish line. When he runs into some cowboys that start to shoot at him, he runs away on his magic machine, giving the bad guy, Reese, reason to pursue: he wants that machine.
Lyle makes it to a village where a mysterious female shows him where he can hide is bike, and then forces him to do the nasty in the pasty(Futurama reference). When they are all finished, Lyle tells the woman about his necklace being passed down from generation to generation. It originally belonged to his great great grandmother, who stole it from her true love to remind her of their one amazing night together. The man disappeared(I think you see where this is going), and she moved to LA and started the Swann family. Pay attention, because the necklace is important!
Reese finally tracks down Lyle, steals his motorcycle, and kidnaps the woman for good measure. Lyle has to team up with local law enforcement to find Reese’s camp and reclaim his property, which Reese has a hilarious time trying to figure out(to start the bike, you gotta jump up and down, and then kick it hard!). They infiltrate the camp at night, and use technology (like road flares and swiss army knives) to rescue the damsel who is still unharmed. They grab the bike, and make their way out of there in a jiffy. Now they need to find a way to escape!
They get chased to a cliff where any escape seems impossible, and become cornered by several gun carrying baddies. Just when it seems things are going to end quick and painful-like, a helicopter shows up! Lyle’s bike has a homing beacon that still works in 1877, and they scientist who accidentally shot a man 100 years into the past was able to find it and bring some mighty backup. Lyle jumps in, but the woman stays, grabbing his necklace(you see?!?!) and waving goodbye. We are left with Lyle re-telling the story of his great great grandmother, as we realise that he is his own great great grandfather.
This one was mine, I just had to see a dirt bike racer sent to the old west….send me your requests!