All Japanese Cast: 9/10
Scientist With Eye-Patch: 10/10
and then there’s….
Fake Scenes: 10/10
Destroy Original Movie: 10/10
It’s an insult to my basic senses(even smell, the sexiest of the senses) that an original and totally functional movie such as “Gojira” would need to be sliced up and put back together with a white guy in it, just so it could be brought over to America. Apparently, subtitles weren’t the first thing we learned to do back in the silent film days. It’s not even as if the original is some super-complex story that needs explaining….it’s Godzilla. Thank you to “Godzilla: King Of The Monsters”, though, for letting us Americans feel like part of the legacy…in a cheap and embarrassing way…
Do you know the plot of Godzilla? Probably the basics.
- Monster Comes Out Of The Sea
- Monster Destroys Tokyo
- People Run Around Screaming “GODZILLA!!!” And Point Up
- Government Tries To Kill Godzilla But Fails
- Last Chance Effort To Get Rid Of Godzilla Works…For Now
You don’t even need to have seen the movie to get this, its pretty much ingrained in our pop-culture. “Gojira” is the first of its kind, emerging from a Japan still recently double-deuced by America’s a-bombs, and he is pissed! The natives of Ohto(Odo) Island know the legend of the beast, but does anyone listen? Not until Godzilla(Gojira) is knocking on their back door(with gusto). He makes a play for Tokyo and is barely phased by the abundant power lines or frequent fire of the army. To Godzilla, they are mere annoyances. How can you kill that which can not be hurt?
Leave it up to local scientist and all-around badass Dr. Serizawa, who has invented a miraculous device: The Oxygen Destroyer machine. It takes living things in water, and turns them into dead things the water. I’m not exactly certain of the science behind it(I know, I was shocked, too), but it seems to strip off the flesh and leave nothing but the bone. Dr. Serizawa, however, knows what the power of this device means, and refuses to let it be used. He can’t have people just using his device on each other, turning the world into a bunch of skeletons(provided we are all in the ocean).
Things just get worse, however, when Godzilla continues his rampage undeterred by the greatest technology of the day, and the candle of hope begins to flicker. Only Dr. Serizawa’s fiance(or former fiance, I’m not really sure) can sway him to use the device against the terrifying monster. He finally decides to go ahead with it, but like a pimp uses it himself, ensuring the device’s secret dies with him. Godzilla, caught of guard while enjoying a relaxing swim between stompin’ and smashin’, is reduced to nothing more than an impressive-looking skeleton, and the world is safe(yeah right). People praise the work of Dr. Serizawa, and we all go home with something to think about.
None of that changes between the two movies, so you can at least walk away from each one knowing the basic 1-2 of it. In “Godzilla: KOTM”, American reporter Steve Martin(no, not THAT Steve Martin) is on the scene in Tokyo after the first Godzilla attack, and recounts the events that led him to be laid out in the hospital. He seems to be able to go anywhere he wants, and always asks the difficult questions. Certainly, if not for him, this mystery of Godzilla would never be solved, and Dr. Serizawa would never have seen the light(or the dark abyss). Stand-ins and shot splicing put Steve right in the action, where he uses his reporting prowess to ask the right questions and understand the difficult answers. I’m sorry to say it is, if anything, a horrible destraction to what is going on in the film, and makes for a unenjoyable time.
I’ve only recently begun to watch the Godzilla franchise, but I can see why people are drawn to it. Its fun to watch on multiple levels, and you know what you’re getting right when you start. I only wish the big guy had more screen time since, let’s be honest, that’s why people want to see these things. If you get the opportunity, watch “Gojira” and enjoy it’s authenticity. Then, if you’re in the mood to see how Hollywood thought they could make it “better”, check out “Godzilla: KOTM”. Let me know what you think!
OK guys, you know the drill. You tell me the movies that you think are horrible, and then I’ll watch them and write about them. This one was personal, though, since I do love Godzilla! Until next time, keep watching those bad movies!
P.S. This guy has the best job ever.