My Name Is Bruce

Hawaiian Shirts: 9/10 

Ted Raimi Appearances: 10/10 

Annoying Folk Singers: 10/10 

When a B-movie star makes a B-movie about being in B-movies, is that the definition of C-movie?  Or a BB-movie?  Anyway, that’s what you get when you watch “My Name Is Bruce”, a movie where Bruce Campbell sets out to say “hey, I can cash in on being notoriously cast in bad movies by making a movie about it”(I should get an award for using the word “movie” this much). 

Bruce Campbell stars as Bruce Campbell, and right away sets himself up as a self-serving jerk who knows his entire career is a joke.  What’s the twist in this one?  He gets kidnapped to the town of Goldlick to fight a Chinese god of war by a town who thinks he is actually a hero like in his movies.  His agent, Ted Raimi #1, tells Bruce that he has a special surprise for him for his birthday, so Bruce believes the town of Goldlick is an elaborate stage act.  Playing along, he befriends his #1 fan(sporting a Bubba Ho-Top shirt) and begins to make himself comfortable.  

The town throws a party in his honor, and he gorges himself on cheap beer ribs.  Then, he decides to dance it up and tries to make it with the cute waitress(and only good-looking person in town) before he goes off to fight the slaughtering spirit.  Declining the use of a chainsaw, he opts instead for a .45 handgun and joins the town in a ghost hunt in the local graveyard.  To his horror, the monster is real, and in his panic to escape he shoots about 4 people(probably my favorite part).  Guan-de(the ghost) continues his killing spree, offing random townsfolk, including the guy(Ted Raimi #2) who is in charge of changing the population on the Goldlick welcome billboard. 

The Chinese God of the Dead...and Guardian of Bean Curd.....


After his screaming subsides and he has some time to realize just how pathetic he really is, he decides its time to be a real hero(also, his #1 fan is going to go up against the monster by himself, and you can’t let a kid die for you…).  Bruce makes his way through the angry townspeople of Goldlick and teams up with the waitress to save the fanboy(who also happens to be her son).  The warnings of an elderly Chinese man, Ted Raimi #3, have given Bruce an idea.  Since the spirit is the guardian of Bean Curds, he can distract it by throwing tofu at it, and lure it into a trap.  And what works better against ghosts than dynamite?  Nothing, that’s what.  Bruce ends up charging Mr. Curd into a cave, and they set of the charges.  You can’t kill Bruce that easily, though, and he stumbles out of the cave, champion of the hour.  Or so he thinks…. 

For this one your going to have to watch the ending, since I don’t really want to get into it.  Needless to say(but I’ll say it anyway), it’s a cop-out ending.  This was one of my less favorite Campbell films, since it was just a little too cheesy and a little too poorly done to be enjoyable.  I understand the whole point of the movie, all you Campbell fans out there, but this caricature of a caricature of a movie just didn’t have the heart for me.  Too bad, so sad. 

Thank you to The Goose for the suggestion!  Let me know what I should watch!  Please give me some Bruce Campbell recovery time, though….

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