Zone Troopers

Alien Design: 5/10

Disintegrating Nazis: 8/10

Bumming Smokes: 9/10

I love it when random elements get mixed together in odd scenarios.  Danny Bilson, whom I love for his direction of the short-lived live-action “The Flash” TV series, brings us this story of Nazi occupied Italy.  Why should I care at all about Nazis and Italy after all of the war movies that have come out?  Well, in Zone Troopers, the Nazis have stumbled upon an alien craft, and its up to our boys in uniform to go in make sure that the craft gets un-stumbled upon right quick.  It may not be their mission, but it is definitely their duty.

A unit of American soldiers, apparently thinking that a lookout wasn’t necessary in a war zone, get ambushed by some Nazis, and all but 4 are lain to waste.  They escape into the woods, and try to find a way to safety, but something is not quite right.  Their compasses don’t work, and there are strange pieces of equipment lying around.  When they camp for the night, the lookout(they finally got the hint) thinks he has seen a monster of some kind, but when he goes back to search for it, there is no trace.  In the morning, 2 of the men go hunting(dumb) and the other two discover a crashed rocket from outer space.

The hunters stumble upon a Nazi camp, and eventually get caught and imprisoned.  The find out that the Nazis are researching the rocket ship, and have captured one of the aliens.  Meanwhile, the other 2 soldiers explore the ship, and then hide when other Nazis show up.  Once all of them are on board, the 2 soldiers blow up the rocket ship with a grenade(for America!), and high-tail it out of there.  The captured soldiers are tortured for information, and when Hitler shows up, things get really serious(one of them gets a left hook on Hitler…it was awesome).

One of these things is not like the others

 When their friends show up to save them, the soldiers grab the alien, too.  They head for a cave and lay low, discovering that their new space friend likes the taste of cigarettes.  Soon, the Nazis are on their trail, and they have no choice but to stand and fight.  Luckily, some other (better looking) aliens show up, and with the help of laser rays, the Nazis are turned into space dust.  The aliens take their female(yeah…the hairy one is the female…), and head for the stars, leaving the Earth and their new soldier friends behind.  Since the story is too crazy to be believed, the writer of the group releases it as a sci-fi story in a comic book, in honor of his dead comrade(who loved comics…..I didn’t mention that…..deal with it).

A fun movie all the way through!  For those of you who know Art LaFleur(Babe Ruth in The Sandlot), he rocks as the tough-as-nails soldier that keeps having to give his beloved cigarettes away, and who decks Hitler on sight.  The rest of the cast is mildly enjoyable, but I really appreciated LaFleur.  The ship designs were a little on the “child’s toy” side, but the explosions were real enough.  Plus, the lasers were exceptionally well, I though.  All told, one for the rack…..in a good way.

I dedicate this entry to my grandfather, who took a shot in WWII and laughed it off while laying on a barn door under crossfire.  Love you, Grampa.

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