Earth Girls Are Easy

Alien Powers: 5/10

Epic Dance-Off: 9/10

80’s Musical Numbers: 10/10

Here’s something refreshingly light!  From the title to the ending scenes, this movie is nothing but silly and fun(with some sexy stuff thrown in for the kids).  You’ve never seen it?  That’s a shock, considering I remember a summer when Comedy Central played nothing except Earth Girls Are Easy, a break-out film for so many fine(and a couple of not-so-fine) actors.  I’ll get to the serious stuff in a sec, but first let me just thank all of my friends that support this here blog.  You guys and gals are all great(Slayer).  OK, enough of the sentimental jibber-jabber, let’s lay some movie-reviewing pipe.

Valerie, an awkwardly hot girl trying to make it in the world of 1980’s California, loves her boyfriend/roommate Ted.  Problem: Ted is a cheating douche.  When Valerie, who is dressed as a sexy blond nurse, catches Ted bringing home another girl(the worst planning ever, on his part), she throws him out of his own house and goes on a destructive rampage(in song).  The next day, she just wants to relax by the pool, and doesn’t suspect that some bright-colored furry aliens are peeping at her from space.  Distracted, the aliens accidentally crash in her pool, and the culture shock begins.

Meet Mac(Jeff Goldblum), Wiploc(Jim Carey), and Zeebo(Damon Wayans), the blue, red, and yellow(respectively) aliens that have crash landed on Earth.  They save Valerie from drowning in her own pool, and she invites them in for some lunch(as is the proper custom in that situation, FYI).  When she finally wraps her head around the idea that they are from space, she begins to worry about two things: 1)How is she going to explain the space ship in the pool to Ted, and 2)What is she going to do about the aliens?  Since she has a friend who is a stylist at a crazy salon, she takes the colorful trio out for a little trim, and ends up with three guys that look perfectly human(you just have to go with it, thinking about it hurts).  It turns out Mac is pretty hot(yeah, they try to make Jeff Goldblum the sexy one), and Valerie can’t help but feel a connection with him since he listens to her or whatever the hell it is that girls expect from guys(or aliens).

I honestly can't believe that they didn't receive an Oscar nomination for this...

 

After a night of extra-terrestrial erotic excursions(alliteration FTW), Valerie finally realizes that she has to choose between Mac-the man/alien of her dreams, and Ted-the huge jerk that cheats on her and gets pissed all of the time.  For some reason this decision takes longer than a second, and the three space-dudes decide they better leave before any more trouble kicks up.  They fix the ship, and get all set to depart, when Valerie comes to her senses and yells out that she loves Mac and wants to go with him(just like a woman to make you late at the last second…).  She boards the ship and heads out to the stars, possibly for erotic adventures, but most likely to be disappointed by whatever weird planet these guys come from.  I love an ending that doesn’t care about consequences.

So many great things here, I don’t know where to begin!  Damon Wayans gets to have an amazing dance-off in the club scene(the best scene), Jim Carey shows off his acting chops for the first time cinematically, and Jeff Goldblum doesn’t talk much.  It’s a universal(ha!) win.  The musical numbers scattered throughout the story are fun and poppy, and the supporting cast is strewn with familiar faces that bring something magically dumb and clever to the whole overall feel of the movie.  A great movie for a date(if your date likes cheesy 80’s movies) that could lead to some frisky action and a few laughs(at the movie, not the frisky action).  Check it out, or you hate smiles.  You don’t hate smiles, do you?

Until we meet again, keep watching those bad movies and keeping reaching for your dreams.  You probably won’t reach them, but at least look like you’re trying for the ladies(or the dudes, I’m an equal opportunity sexist).  Have a good one!

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