Terminator Reference: 8/10
Mick Jagger As A Bounty Hunter: 9/10
Easily one of my favorite parts of the ever-amazing time-travel genre is finding out that the future in a movie is actually the past when watched today. Even better is when it’s right on the money, and I’ll give Freejack the benefit of the doubt on this one. So how awesome is it to watch a movie where the current year is portrayed as a futuristic wonderland? Amazingly awesome. They even got a couple of things right, like flat-screen TVs and Mick Jagger roaming the Earth, but of course fell back on the futuristic staples of laser guns and holograms. I don’t want to give away the ending, though…at least not right now.
It’s 1991, and Alex Furlong is an up-and-coming race car driver (I bet that will come in handy later during chase scenes…) who has a bright future with a beautiful girlfriend and a hot-shot agent to back him up. As he makes his move to win a race that he is way too confident about, he somehow (I love how often I use the word “somehow” when describing scenes) causes his car to go flying through the air, crashing into a wall and bursting into flames instantly. Fear not! Mick Jagger, bounty hunter extraordinaire, pulls him to the distant future of 2009 a second before his fatal collision. The reason? In the future, dying rich people bring healthy people from the past to the future and steal their bodies to live longer. These bodies are known as “freejacks”.
Alex awakens in the back of a van where a team of doctors is preparing to give him a little brain adjustment, but before they get a chance to shock the monkey, the van becomes under attack. It’s the future, this sort of thing happens all of the time. In the crossfire, Alex escapes and seeks refuge in a church, where he learns all about freejacks from a gun-toting nun. She tells him where he can find is old agent, but once they reconnect it’s a predictable minute before the agent turns him in for a cash reward. He manages to escape the clutches of Mick Jagger (who pursues him the whole movie) and heads toward the sector of the city where his old girlfriend lives. She’s skeptical at first, but once he proves his identity to her, she decides to help him escape from the city and get away from the $15,000,000 reward on his head.
She sets up a boat through her rich boss, Mr. McCandless, that should take Alex to safety, but Mick Jagger is 2 steps ahead of them. He blows up the boat and chases down Alex, who is able to disarm Mick and finally ask some questions. He spares Mick’s life (sympathy for the devil, I guess) in exchange for the name of the man who wants his body. Guess what, it’s Mr. McCandless. Alex marches right into the corporate headquarters where McCandless is said to be, and is shocked to find that the man is already dead. Well….almost dead. His mind is still alive in the (drumroll please) Spiritual Switchboard, a giant computer designed to hold a mind for about 2 days while a replacement body is discovered. McCandless, in the form of a holographic projection, tries to stall by talking about how he loves Alex’s woman(which is why Alex was chosen to be freejacked in the first place), but soon Mick Jagger is there to put Alex under his thumb. They begin the transfer, but it’s interrupted by a bullet to the machine, causing everyone to question whether Alex is McCandless or not. Mick Jagger challenges him to say to the personal ID number of McCandless, and he is able to do it with little trouble. Now he can run his company in a new body. Twist: It’s really Alex pretending to be Mr. McCandless! Double Twist: Mick Jagger knew that because the serial number he rattled off was totally wrong, but Mick let him go anyway because they are friends now(also, he didn’t want to be a beast of burden).
There are quite a few twists and turns in this movie, and even though most of them are predictable, they are entertaining as well. My girlfriend wouldn’t stop laughing about the Spiritual Switchboard, and I have to say she is probably correct in thinking that it is a ridiculous name for a ridiculous concept. I am also disappointed that it’s 2009 and things like doors and lights are not completely voice activated. We live in the freaking future! Oh well, at least I know that it’s only 21 years until I can watch Demolition Man with the same kind of anticipation and probable disappointment.
Thanks to Mick Jagger for being in this movie. It really helped. Until next time, keep watching bad movies, chances are they are better than the endless stream of sequels and remakes coming out nowadays.
P.S. No flying cars? That’s Bulls***.