Monthly Archives: April 2011

2010: Moby Dick

Moby Dick: 4/10 Captain Ahab: 2/10 Queequeg: 7/10 One of my favorite literary characters of all time would have to be the captain of the Pequod, Ahab.  He is single-minded, vengeful, and cold to those around him.  His ultimate goal … Continue reading

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Attack/Return Of The Killer Tomatoes

Tomatoes: 10/10 Musical Numbers: 2/10 Special Effects: 4/10 Skillfully and excellently followed by… Mad Scientist: 8/10 Product Placement: 9/10 Tomato Discrimination: 8/10 Tomatoes are inherently evil, we all know that.  They mockingly dance between fruit and vegetable, never revealing what … Continue reading

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THEM!

Ant Propaganda: 9/10 Annoying Screeching: 8/10 Thrilling Conclusion: 4/10 Now, before you start saying something about how this movie is really old, and thus should get a pass, I want to remind you of what it is about.  Giant ants.  … Continue reading

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Hellbound

Kicks: 8/10 Acting: 5/10 Beard Of Steal: 10/10 This is actually only the second Chuck Norris movie that I have reviewed, which is kind of a surprise to me.  It might be out of some mutated form of respect (but it’s probably … Continue reading

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Razortooth

CGI: 1/10 Script: 1/10 Ending: 1/10 What can I say about this horrible movie that the cover doesn’t already scream?  It seems that every single animal in the world is supposed to have a horror movie that makes it the … Continue reading

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Alien Vs. Ninja

Premise: 10/10 Execution Of Premise: 1/10 Aliens: 3/10 I did a double take when I saw this title.  Who wouldn’t?  It’s a bad-movie watcher’s dream, especially one that likes ninjas as much as I do.  I remember a time when … Continue reading

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Frankenstein Conquers The World – Dueling Review #3

Accuracy Of Title: 0/10 Monster Fight: 8/10 Fire Bad: 5/10 The third installment of the dueling reviews between myself and Chako, author of The Awesome Man’s Burden, is finally here.  You’re welcome. There are many incarnations of Frankenstein (or Frankenstein’s … Continue reading

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