Iron Sky

Nazis: 8/10

Government Officials: 8/10

Soundtrack: 8/10

In true rock star fashion, my days have been filled with sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll.  Unfortunately for you, that means that I took another of my famous breaks from writing in order to replenish my creative juices…and I was too lazy to update.  Can’t change the past, but I can write for the future,  and the future happens to be at the heart of my review this time.  I was fortunate enough to be introduced to the movie Iron Sky by my friend and talented artist, Aleta Welling, and I’ll be damned if it wasn’t right up my alley.  For those not lucky enough to have a clue what Iron Sky is, all I can say is this: Nazis from the moon.  With that in mind, let’s crack open this nut and expose it for all its Aryan glory.

Subtle….very subtle…..

Things start out normal enough with a manned mission to the moon touching down and bouncing around.  Normal, that is, until the gigantic Nazi installation is discovered and most of the crew is killed.  The lone survivor, James Washington, a black model sent to the moon as a publicity stunt, is captured and studied by the Nazi scientists, and the reality of the situation is soon revealed.  It would seem that towards the end of WWII, a special group of Nazi go-getters decided to leave Earth and take refuge on our celestial playmate, biding their time until a full-scale invasion would be possible.  Believing the moon mission to be the start of an invasion from Earth, the Nazis decide that it would be prudent to finally begin their counter-invasion.  What makes this possible after so many years of hiding and waiting?  None other than the remarkable technology on an iPod, which has a computing power far beyond anything the moon-krauts are able to reproduce.

With plans in place to raise their giant mobile fortress, the Gotterdammerung, they send a small party to assess the situation back on our blue marble before the invasion begins.  James Washington is sent as well, but he’s not quite the same.  Something about him is a little….whiter.  Anyway, the Earth is not quite what they expected, and soon they have been recruited by the President of the United States (a very Palin-esque portrayal) to lead her PR campaign and write some very moving (and Hitler-esque) speeches.  Things are looking great, but the impatient Fuhrer is tired of waiting and decides that it looks like a good time to Reich some wrongs, and a full-scale attack is soon on its way to our atmosphere.

Hey, where’s the black guy…….Oh! Nevermind.

What is the defenseless Earth to do?  Oh, wait, what’s that?  Every single satellite in orbit is a battleship prepped for war (with the exception of Norway….goddammit Norway…)!  A giant space battle breaks out, and at the heart of it is America’s flagship, the George W. Bush.  The Nazis are clearly outmatched until the Gotterdammerung makes its way to the fight, and then it’s all up to James Washington and his new Nazi love, Renate.  They have snuck in to the engine room and are taking down the German mothership from the inside, as long as they can defeat a crazy old scientist and a power-hungry Hitler wannabe.  Want to know how it ends?  Too bad, this time I’m not in the spoiling mood, but I can say that you won’t be disappointed.

The scale and budget of this film are really what make it stand out in the world of bad movies.  It’s not often that you get such high quality special effects for something so strange and foreign, but I have to give credit where credit is due.  For the most part, the cast is a healthy dose of unknowns (but you may see one or two faces that are graciously familiar) and the dialogue is a nice mix of satire and sarcasm.  I’d say this is an all-around good time movie for any occasion, and fully recommend that you get off your various asses and check it out.  If you don’t like it, chances are you have no brain activity worth communicating with, so I won’t even try.

A special thanks to Aleta Welling for introducing me to this one!  Don’t be an asshole and check out her badass art at Noxious Hues.  Thanks for stopping by, boys are girls!  Until next time, keep watching those bad movies, and I’ll keep saving the world from various space invasions, foreign and domestic.

P.S.

I forgot to mention that the lead female role is one hot Nazi (dare I call her a Hot-zi).