Chicken Fuckers: 8/10
Lemmy Kilmister: 0/10 (unacceptable)
A Troma Team Production. Is there any sweeter phrase to see at the beginning of a movie? I submit to you that there is not. Today’s adventure in to the world of bad movies has led me to Poultrygeist, a sordid tale about a fast-food chicken restaurant built on an ancient Indian (Eagle feather not red dot) burial ground. As you can imagine, this causes some complications with the food, but we’ll get to that in a second. Keeping up with the fine tradition of Troma films, there is an excess of boobs, blood, and boner jokes, with the added surprise of some swinging musical numbers! So don’t be a square, step inside and explore the wacky world of Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead.
Our hero this time is a recent high school grad named Arbie. After a completely normal dry-humping session with his girlfriend in a graveyard turns sour, the two go their separate ways and end up on opposite sides of the fence (a metaphorical fence). His girlfriend has become a liberal lesbian opposed to the new American Chicken Bunker restaurant built on said graveyard, and the dejected Arbie has little option but to get a job there. His coworkers, Denny and Carl Jr., don’t seem too concerned about the pulsating, vain-covered eggs that have begun to pop up in the store-room, and with the impending visit of former KKK member and current CEO of ACB, General Lee, everybody is a little distracted. They don’t notice the strange events occurring, like a fat man imploding in the bathroom after eating an odd-colored egg, or the food prepper named Paco getting turned in to ground beef after jizzing in the sink.
The death of Paco does bring a silver lining, however. They turn his ground remains in to Sloppy Jose’s, one of which comes to life and explains that a multitude of evil spirits are about to bear down on the entire restaurant. Does General Lee listen? Nope! He just eats the possessed sandwich and moves on, turning the skies as red as blood. Meanwhile, Carl Jr. gets his pecker ripped off while fucking a chicken, and after covering the back room with blood and green ooze (again), it’s finally apparent that Arbie needs to tell everyone about the evil chicken spirit…..things. He’s too late, however, because General Lee has fed an entire mob his infected chicken, and soon the whole restaurant is filled with sick masses barfing glow-in-the-dark pus every which way.
Wouldn’t you know it, everyone begins turning in to mutant chicken indians who enjoy eating human flesh and having big, bloody orgies (as is often the case in Troma films). Arbie and his girl, Wendy, are soon part of a dwindling number of survivors, desperate to find any weakness against the growing epidemic. Since the evil spirits are Native American, their weakness should be pretty easy to guess: alcohol. Arbie and Wendy eventually figure that out, and are able to dispatch of the mother cluckers before finding all of the eggs that are about to hatch in the back. Luckily, the Arab employee, Hummus, is packing a bomb, and she bravely decides to put a jihad on the evil chickens by blowing them to kingdom come. Arbie and Wendy escape in to a world with an uncertain future, but how long will they last? Not long.
Lloyd Kaufman is amazing, and he makes a special guest appearance as Arbie’s older self, which is just a complete pleasure. Ron Jeremy also makes a brief cameo, which rounds out the celebrity quota, and the rest of the cast is a fun group of semi-familiar Troma faces (no Kabukiman though). The song numbers are inane and sometimes disgusting, which flows perfectly with the rest of the movie, and are actually pretty catchy. Basically, you won’t be disappointed with one if you know what to expect, and if you don’t know, then this is a great movie to open you up to a world of Troma. It’s nearing Halloween, and we all need something on the TV while we throw candy at little kids from the roof, so here it is. Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead, watch it!
Special thanks to Netflix for this one, keep ’em coming! Thanks for stopping by, hens and roosters! Until next time, keep watching those bad movies, and I’ll keep pretending that those strange green orbs on my chicken nuggets are “flavor crystals”.
P.S. This also happens: